return false; There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. I think that speaks for itself. In America, anyone can become president. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. And armbands. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); Like the boogie man. window.csa("Config", { It will not be with jack-boots. Its never going to get any better. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. How are YOU going to tackle today? Share your thoughts in the comments below! When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. George Carlin > Quotes (?) If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. We made 'em up. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. Source; . Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. George Carlin 13. "George Carlin confronts reality". That's the problem. if (window.csa) { George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. It will not be with jack-boots. You have owners. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Are these people kidding? The table is tilted, folks. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. He's the subject of a new documentary. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. " Forget the politicians. var gads = document.createElement("script"); They own, and control the corporations. Lists. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. var url; If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! //]]> Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. Religion class was always an easy class. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. In America, anyone can become president. Well, we know what they want. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Born: May 12, 1937. It takes up a lot of your time. // Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. }, George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads for(var i=0; i

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